You know when you go to Bloomies, Saks, Barney’s, what have you and they’ve brought in the new collection for that season?  And it is all shiny and new and attractive; and on your way to gaze and gawk at the new items there is a huge sign that says SALE and the rack is a little disheveled and hazardous?  Well that’s what Season 5 of the Real Housewives of New York is exactly like: new season, new women, and some on sale.  Don’t get me wrong I like a good sale as much as the next gal, but I often end up sifting through quickly only to end up at the new shiny rack.  Well on this sales rack, we have Ramona, Sonja, and the Countess (LuAnn).  I’ll take Sonja with the additional 30 percent discount.  Leave Ramona.  Don’t even bother with the Countess (she never fits).

The best thing that Bravo did was fire Jill, Kelly, Cindy, and Alex: their personalities were trying and boring.  However, I’m still trying to understand why they kept the Countess and Ramona.  Ramona is bat shit crazy: she’s a fast talker, has crazy eyes, a self-proclaimed 180 words a minute reader, and not gonna lie a little over the hill.  The Countess annoyed me five minutes into the episode.  For a woman who claims to be the ambassador on ‘class’ her demeanor doesn’t exactly exude that.  She’s not funny or clever and her retorts often miss the mark: “We are taking the higher road, and I’m taking the higher road…this way!”  Ramona just walked away from you: there is no higher road! Another classic Countess (coining that!) was while she was chatting with new housewife Heather (I’ll get more into her later)  and LuAnn learns that Heather is half Italian and asks: “Well do you speak Italian?”  Before she can even answer, the Countess begins spewing out her latest Italian phrases.  Keep in mind she had already gone off on a tangent in French, with new Housewife Aviva, in Central Park.  Gosh the Countess is such a classy broad.  Just ask her.

As for Ramona, I do get a kick out of her but I’m not sure there really is a place for her on the show anymore.  Besides the fact that she and Sonja are a fun pair, she’s a little off and it’s almost uncomfortable watching her engage with someone on the show.  Sonja still has a bit of a fresh demeanor and adds some fun to the show.  I can deal with her.

As I said earlier my eyes are always going to go to the fun, new, and exciting items in the store and even though I don’t like all the new housewives I was excited to see new blood and new story lines on the show.  Let’s start with Heather:

Heather Thomson is the owner of a shape wear line:  Jill Zarin, Bethenny Frankel…haven’t we seen this business venture already from former NY Housewives?  Anyways, she now owns her own business after being in fashion for a number of years (which is recounted on the show).  I’m glad she mentioned working for House of Dereon with Beyoncé and her mom Tina, that helps her credibility, uh-hem.  Heather seems to be Ramona’s biggest competition and they already have had three awkward encounters on the show.  One of which was a tit for tat fest on who interrupts more.  Last thing I’ll say about her is that she needs an eyebrow stylist.  I have a great one girl…I’ll hook you up!

Next we have Carole Radziwill.  Apparently Carole is somewhat of an established writer.  Which is weird because I thought people went on this show to get a book with their name on it published become ‘writers.’  Carole has no kids and is a widow: so obviously she doesn’t want to get stuck in a conversation with two woman chatting about their kids (albeit if I were stuck in a conversation with Ramona and Heather I would excuse myself as well).  She’s wearing hot pants, hello, she’s got to mingle!  P.S.  Those hot pants are inapprops for a woman her age.  Just saying.  So far she hasn’t added much to the season so we have to wait and see what happens.

The last one is Aviva Drescher and my favorite.  She seems to have entered the show with the most calm attitude. She also has a prosthetic leg, which the viewers quickly learn about.  She has a great attitude about it and I probably would too if my life were as plush as hers.  Her ex-husband seems to have been around the block a few times and is sure to become a point of contention later in the show.

So there you have it (whether you wanted to or not!) the new housewives in all their glory.