Since my invitation to the Queen’s Diamond Jubilee must have been lost in the mail, uh-hem,  I had to settle for a much less prestigious event but still as glamorous as ever!  Fine, it wasn’t so glamorous: Barnes and Nobles in Union Square, Manhattan isn’t exactly Buckingham Palace but boy did Joan make us feel like royalty!

Joan strolled in with her always menacing grin and posed for photos at the mini step and repeat (yeah you heard me), then headed to the podium to take questions.  I had no idea there were so many freaks Joan fans out there.  To be fair, I was one of them by just being there.  Fine.  I can handle it.  Let me just tell you Barnes and Noble has its logistics together!  When I went to The Strand last week for Andy Cohen’s book signing, the staff hardly knew what to do with itself.  Barnes and Noble had a huge podium with a sectioned off area for the audience to sit during the appearance and signing.  So much for the individual book store.

So Joan’s new book is called I Hate Everybody…Starting with Myself.  Let’s be honest: she does hate every body but at least she’s funny about it.  As I arrived at the podium for my few seconds to speak with Joan I wasn’t sure what I was going to say; and instantly I knew!  I had to ask her the question that separates the real Jews from the I-only-go-to-synagogue-on-Yom-Kippur-Jews: “Do you like gefilte fish?”  She enthusiastically replied “Yes!”  and her assistant said “Looks like you found your soul mate!” Oh Joan I didn’t think I could like you more but you just keep one upping yourself.   I love gefilte fish!  In fact it is my favorite passover food and I always ask to eat people’s if they don’t want it!

Joan, I have to agree with your assistant, I think we may be soul mates, some fifty years apart (details).  This is the second time I have met Joan (see my WWHL post) and if I keep this up maybe she’ll invite me to Fashion Police!!  Joan, if you’re reading this, I can tell a Kardashian Kollection piece from the real thing; they can’t fool me!  See you in La La Land.